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October 01, 2003


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that's just...just...so visual. So what song was playing? Will the bird shit forever taint your interpretation of that song...don't tell anyone, but it happened to me once also when I was a young lad

I got shit on twice in the same year in elementary school. Once was when I was sitting on the stairs outside doing my spelling homework. The bird shat upon my workbook (so, technically, I was spared) and it was big and nasty. To avoid nausea, I closed the workbook and ignored the situation. I later turned in my workbook and made my teacher sad.

Here's my shit story:

I was young, naive, and in love with an older woman. It was the dawn of my college experience - and I had scored two tickets to the Beck show in Athens...I invited the object of my afftection to go with - to which she replied in the affirmative. The day of the show I became violently ill - but being the trooper with lofty ambitions for the future that I am - the show must go on. While we were walking around before the show -- the love I never told I loved - and has since slipped into the past - looked upon me and said,

"You feel like shit, don't you."

My reply was not swift - for in that moment - I felt something pelt my head - and consequently cascade off and come to rest on my shoulder. It was a white substance from the skies - but manna it was not. Looking at her with tears in my soul - I answered -

"Now I do."

The End.


oh man, sorry, but that's kinda funny. hopefully you were on the way home or at least not in a rush to get somewhere important or something.

birds have shit on me before but i don't really recall specific times when sed shitting happened.

i do remember being in elementary school and a bee flying into my mouth and stinging me there, however.

What did the bee taste like?

The only bird shitting I've ever been subject to was about a year ago, last fall. I had taken a day off from work and was out shopping with Sarah and Lee in Hillsboro Village. I had been to Book Man and had some new (old) Heller and Nabokov to show for it, and was starting God Knows on a bench outside Posh when I noticed that there were a few birds in the tree above the bench.

"I better move before they take off and shit on me, I thought." Just then, they took off and shit on me. I went into Posh with a tiny, warm bird turd on my right hand and asked if I could use the bathroom. They said yes.

The End.

Whoo! That was 2 years ago. Time flies, indeed.

bees taste like wasps but with more hatred and suicide.

I've never been shat upon by a bird. So i clearly have nothing to say here. Birdshit virgin, i. Maybe someday...

"bees taste like wasps but with more hatred and suicide."

There is your next Mercator song title.

It's true, Bees have a more Kamikaze desperation to their attacks, where wasps are more nonchalant about it. I guess I have more respect for bees in the long run.

What were we talking about?

just finished listening to your very excellent CD. (what's up with the Hall & Oates though?)

I was going to say something, but I don't think I can top bilbo's and mimi's performances. I've never been shat upon by an animal, so I don't have much to contribute anyway.

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