Dear Mr. Spielberg,
I was going to go see War of the Worlds, but now I am not. I was willing to forgive the turd pile that was A.I. because the trailer for your new movie was intriguing.
Then Tom Cruise went motherfucking batshit all over my television, dragging that skinny, empty-eyed Katie Holmes behind him talking about the evils of psychiatry. I am completely fed up with looking at his creepy center tooth and his evil, shifty eyes.
I know you might not miss my $8.50, but in case you do I thought you should know why.
Your boy is a serious wack-job.
A.I really was abysmal, man,