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August 11, 2005

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Oh my god...my mother is like the queen of wise sayings...I've been begging her to write them all down so I can put them into a book so when I have kids I can use them all on them but she hasn't. My favorite's are: (It only rhymes in Spanish)
"Del plato a la boca, se cay la sopa" which translates into (from the bowl to the mouth, the soup falls down.) My other favorite is, "why do you look for three legs on the cat when you know it has four!"

"Because I said so" is my own mother's favorite. I think the only reason she had kids was so that she could use this phrase on a regular basis.

Unfortunately my dad used that ol' chestnut "Do as I say, not as I do" during my upbringing (he used those exact words, if you can believe it). Even at 10 years old I knew that that "lesson" smacked of hypocrisy.

What's cool is that now my dad and I can talk about this and he is self-aware enough to admit that he made a mistake with that approach. -T

The only memorable phrase I remember from my Mom is "I'll rip your arm off and beat you over the head with it." She was never really abusive but she did have a certain graphic flair for the threat.

Both my mother and grandmother use this weird Russian phrase when scolding me. Unfortunately, as I do not know any Russian whatsoever (save, maybe, "da"), I'm not sure exactly what they're saying, but I was told once that it means something along the lines of "By the head of your bold-legged father". How appropriate.

Moms are so great. My mom has all kinds of words and expressions that only SHE uses and that she has been using ever since I can remember. They are all German, of course, and wouldn't make sense to anybody here, but they provide hours and hours of entertainment for my brother and sister and me.

OMG... we were just talking about this at lunch on Tuesday. My mom said "How 'bout them apples?" ALL THE TIME.

She (and my dad) also said things like this:

"If you think you're going to get to do that, you've got another think a comin'."

"You better stop cryin' or I'll give you somethin' to cry about." (Which always made me cry harder. Ha.)

Funny stuff.

cause am the daddy thats why'

Here's the one that stays with me to this day ... my Mom on how hungry she is

"I could eat the ass out of a dead skunk."

Pure trailer park poetry

My mom's passed away several years ago, but there's one expression she used to use, in the sweetest spanish-speaking accent -- and it haunts me to this day.

"Life might choke you a little, but it won't ever strangle you".

What does "dry it up" mean?

"Get off the table Mabel, the money's for the bear"

I don't know a Mabel, or a bear, and there was certainly no money on the table, but my Mom REALLY didn't like it when I'd climb on the living room/kitchen table.

Also, whenever my Dad followed a statement with "Trust me!!", I knew to emphatically respond "NEVER TRUST A MAN WHEN HE SAYS TRUST ME!" ... To this day I can't hear those words without at least thinking the response.

"Get off the table Mabel, the money's for the bear"

I'm totally stealing that one.

Oh, and "Dry it up." was what she said when I was crying uncontrollably.

Substitute "Wacky Tobacky" in for "Wacky Weed" and that is totally my mom.

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