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August 08, 2005


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"I think every person who worships Jesus in the state of Georgia was at Six Flags yesterday."

Naw, you have to go during Atlanta Fest (a Christian Music festival held *inside* Six Flags Over Georgia) in June. I had the misfortune of doing that. I would have taken TOB anytime over a group of teens singing corny religious songs endlessly while waiting to get onto Superman.

Superman is cool, but Batman is still my favorite coaster there, especially the front seat. My favorite ride there is Acrophobia (https://www.sixflags.com/parks/overgeorgia/Rides/ACROPHOBIA.html).

After two trips there, I cannot stress how important it is to get to the park when it first opens. The first two hours are much less crowded.

Like trying to breathe inside a dishwasher. I relate to that.

As for the non-staring boys -- well, after an hour or two, almost anything becomes boring to look at. Just send the skankettes to my place of employ, because there's this fat guy in a dirty undershirt and velour sweatpants always hanging around, eyeraping anything with boobies.


I seriously do think that youngun's have been de-sensitized to slutty outfits. There's no mystery anymore so what's the use? My 15 year old sister dresses like a slut, her friends all dress like sluts, girls on TV dress like sluts... It's no longer an occasional, exceptional thing. It's just every day ho-hum. (Guys, on the other hand, look kinda girly and dress like they're homeless. Go figure.)

My father told me recently that there's some kind of sexual ambiguity thing going on with today's youth that's more pronounced than in the past. I can't say it's a bad thing because crap like homophobia doesn't seem to exist, at least not as much as with adults. Still, the clear division between boys and girls appears to be clouding up a bit. I don't know if it's the same all over the country but the rebellious youth in Utah definitely exhibit a level of androgyny that I don't recall seeing when I was my sister's age.

Just an observation.

I got sick on a rollercoaster at the age of 5 and have not been on another in the quarter century since. I guess you have dealt with the problem differently. Kudos to you and your bravery.

"The boyfriend's sister is not the most exuberant girl I've ever met. She's great, and really funny, but once I overheard her on the phone to her friend. She said, "I'm so excited to see you. It's been so long." And I was like, "Was she just being sarcastic? The boyfriend was like, no, that's about as outwardly excited as she gets." I like it. I'm high strung and edgy. She's always cool as a Christmas in July, whatever that means."

i'm just lazy.

Nice recap Brittney, I miss roller coasters :(

..Lack of attention teenaged boys paid to these skimpily dressed tarts

I think they're probably too busy thinking about inane boy things, like how they can't trick out their mom's car. Or sports. Or both.

Slutware may be too common nowadays to be shocking, I guess.

And yes, peoplewatching is fun.

you do this just to see me cry don't you

The phenomenon of the slutty attire is part of a vast feminine conspiracy. I'm not sure how you didn't get the memo. Girls have finally figured out how to get boys to stop staring at their boobies.

It is like that old parenting technique where you make your kids smoke a whole pack of cigarettes at once so that they are sick of them and don't want to smoke. Girls are overwhelming boys with their tig-o's so that they can get back to making eye contact.

This is great stuff, Brittney. Your best post yet, in my opinion.

I swear, if I weren't so inept at Flash, I would create a stick-figure movie of your trip to Six Flags in Atlanta, with you puking in the bushes and all. Of course, T.O.B. and Co. would need to figure prominently in there as well... Regards, Tim

The highlight of my summer one year was when we got to the park as it opened and got to ride not only the Mind Bender, but the Free Fall too, twice in a row. Bad ass.

After moving here from Atlanta, Opryland was a poor substitute for Six Flags' coasters, but the people watching was primo. Try Dollywood too. Everyone that goes there takes Dolly's words as gospel. What's that quote of hers? You can't stuff 10 lbs into a 5 lb bag? Something like that.

Holy shit, that has to be the single ugliest fucking hat I've ever seen. I may join you in puking.

You are my hero. I have the weakest stomach in the world (I got motion sick lying on a float in someone's pool once) so I tend to avoid rollercoasters. But my boyfriend got me on the cheesy wooden one at Six Flags New England, so now I'm working my way up to Batman.

I must admit I'm thoroughly disappointed in the VCB's photography skillz...I mean. I see no nip slips, no vag...nothing to warrant the loading time, as short as it may be, that it took to get the album up. Those young sluts propagating wildly ensures for me, a future of debauchery and even more young sluts...so its not entirely a bad thing.

When I was a lad, we would go to the wheelchair rental deal and get us some a chair for the day. One member of the group would portray the "handicapable" guy who wanted to ride the coasters. The other ones would act as his "care-providers". We would then be escorted to the front of the line for every ride we cared to get on for the duration of our day without standing in the blistering heat for hours on end.

Well worth the five or ten extra bucks for the chair.

now THAT is a good story!

The TOB thing is too funny. What an ugly hat.

Can a girl really sweat balls?

This is exactly what I expected to find out after reading the title Tig-O-Bitties and Other Tales. Thanks for informative article

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