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September 29, 2005

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What Cab?

I do enjoy knowing how to cork a bottle of wine with a wine key.

I am a pig fucker and once i had sex with myself and a cup of yogurt at the same time, but i got headbutted by a bison and my left nut got bitten off by a barn owl with 2.3 eyes and 19 testicles (yes I am a man posing as a woman so I can rape and kill small unsuspecting children) and I then killed a cop and got away with it because I let him shit on my face and video tape it.

You get the best trolls.

A cheap one. I picked Coppola.

Woah, seriously. I wish my trolls were so creative.

There's nothing wrong with Coppola... Their Diamond Somethingoranother Chardonnay is actually very good. The Neibaum-Coppola reserve wines are awesome, too (but they're not inexpensive).

For inexpensive every (other) day wines, you may want to check out blends like Coppola's Rosso or perhaps jump ship and try "Reds" or "Jest Red" (if they're available in your area).

'Kay, I'll shut up now.

May the urge to wait tables go away, but your skillz stay madd.

it's been five years since i used to open a bazillion bottles of wine a day, and i still get that feeling. people who know me well always let me open anything at a party, because they know it makes me happy. nice people.

HEY ASSHOLE SOMEONE'S ALREADY WORKING THIS SIDE OF THE STREET

"Excuse me, but are you sure this is bleu cheese? I asked for bleu cheese and this doesn't look anything like bleu cheese...could you taste this for me and make sure it's bleu cheese? If it's ranch and not bleu cheese, I'll get sick. Could you just make sure this is bleu cheese? That would be greeaaaaaaaaat."

or perhaps more common:

"What do you mean you don't have the [insert menu item here], It's on the menu, ISN'T IT? How can you be [makes quote mark motion with hands] out? Why is it on the menu if you don't have it?"

also - I will reiterate my email concerning the upcoming movie Waiting - which could be hit or miss...

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