I was just mugged. I was taking an 11:15-ish outbound 27-Bryant home from work, and we'd only gone one stop when at 5th and Mission a blonde blur of a man snatched my iPhone right out of my hand then ran right out the back doors of the bus.
The most I could muster was to stand to my feet and yell, "HEY." He took me completely by surprise. I had my headphones on and with a single jerk he detached the phone cleanly from the headphone jack and forcibly removed it from my hand. A couple of goths, a couple, ran out after him, while I stood there stunned.
They screamed at him. There was yelling. I didn't make any of it out. I just stood there.
I can still feel the sensation of the forceful tug of the phone from my hand.
The bus driver called the police and reported the theft? Robbery? "Phone jacking" should suffice. He told the police the bus number and intersection and what happened, but there was no description given. I couldn't give you one either besides "white guy, blonde blur."
The female portion of the goth duo who valiantly ran after my robber ruined her hero moves by saying to me, "You really have to keep your phone put away." I gave her the fiercest fuck you eyes ever.
She's not wrong, but who wants to hear that 60 seconds after having their lifeblood and reason for living pricey gadget ripped from her hand?
The driver asked if I wanted to hold the bus up so the police could come and I could file a report, so of course I said no. I just rode home in shocked silence while people pity-stared at me. The male member of Goth Duo brought me his little flip phone and asked if I needed to call someone. I told him unless he had an iPhone withdrawal help line programmed in his Nokia then I needn't bother.
And may Paul Ryan strike me dead if I'm lying, but right after I was mugged I looked up to see an ad from this campaign in black and white right over my damn head. And thus, I am forced to admit: I knew the risk of having my phone out on the bus and took it. I have heard the stories. One of my very best friends had this happen months ago. It's not my fault my phone was stolen right out of my hand, but this was a clear case of iPhone addiction and a rampant bout of "I thought it wouldn't happen to me."
I came home and immediately told this very best friend what happened via FB message (how pedestrian!) because it happened to him just a scant few months ago. I described my ash blonde assailant to my Mexican/Filipino friend who said, "White on white crime. Such a shame."
Another friend was kind enough to check in on me via Gmail chat after I broadcasted my circumstance over all appropriate social media channels. Still pumped from the mugging I typed to my concerned friend, "That phone is totally smashed on the back and it is wearing that dirty case. So, haha, fuck you, motherfucker." (So witty and eloquent; don't you wish we IM'ed?) To which Concerned Friend replied, "Yeah, I was gonna ask if he handed the case back to you."
You can see why I call keep these smart asses around.
So, that's the story of my mugging. Now I'm phoneless. Oh, and I was able to remotely wipe my data from my phone. Thank God for that bit of technology, amIrite?
Best this theif gets is what? $40? $50? What is the going rate for a smashed-glass iPhone that is locked and wiped? Any asshole muggers out there wanna weigh in?