Don't Make Me Do It: I'm Leaving Netflix Because I Don't Care

Netflix-Company-Splits-Qwikster-DVD-Service Remember when Netflix first began it's mail-you-DVDs service back in 1999, and people were in awe? It was brilliant. We thought, "People won't steal them, because they know where you live! I can keep it as long as I want, let it sit in its little red jacket for weeks! I can toss it in the mail for free! I can plan my movie watching weeks in advance! This is the shiznit*!"

Film buffs rejoiced. Lazy people thought about cheering, but thought better of it. And video rental stores who made their profit off of late fees wept into their autmotic rewinding machines.

And for close to a decade it was good. It was grand. We'd nod in appreciation at those carrying the deep red squares down the hallway to the mailbox. Our people. Red square toters. We did that, too, when we finally got around to it. Great service for the price. Entertainment mailed straight to your front door.

Then the streaming came, and it was a marvel. The people were thrilled and they shouted their appreciation for on demand movies they could watch at any time. What a marvel of technology. How far we have come. One can see Jim Carrey blow snot rockets on a whim. And all for a little over a ten spot a month? Miraculous, Netflix. Truly.

I have said aloud more than once, "The best 12 bucks I spend every month is on Netflix. It's such a great value. I love it." 

I would never have imagined how soon before I was thinking hard about leaving it.

But, I held on during the price hike. I get 2 DVDs and once and online streaming. The raise in fees was steep, but I still felt the price was fair for the service I so religiously used, and never once thought of ceasing service when others around me dropped Netflix with a hot quickness.

Then I got an email from Netflix's CEO, straight to my inbox, and I opened it and began to read only to become deeply annoyed. Saddened, even. What was going on with my beloved red squared movie company? Qwikster? Just typing the name alone hurts my feelings.

But I'll not get emotional here. My point is this: They are making me do something. The thing they were always so awesome at has now been made complicated and cumbersome, and now I have to act. Netflix was never about that. It was about sit back on your couch and let the movies come to you. Now I have to make a decision. Do I still want to get 2 DVDs at once? Do I still want to get DVDs at all? Will streaming be enough? How much is all this again?

And because I am lazy, I am just going to cancel. I was going to willingly pay 40% more for the same service I've always gotten, but now that they services have now split and the sites aren't cross-referenced in any way, it's going to mean lots of clicks, and even note taking to be sure I'm not overlapping films or missing movies. Who wants this? I don't want this. And it's too bad, because it was fun being a Netflix fan. Now I'm not even gonna get the red sqaures any more. I can stream elsewhere.

And if I may be so bold, I think this should be a lesson to companies everywhere. Don't make your devoted customers jump through hoops. Don't make them reconsider and reconfigure. They are already forking out their hard earned dough to you, probably automatically each month, pulled directly from their accounts. You want them to step in and create an almost ideal opportunity for them *not* to do that? That's not that smart.

So, I'm not mad at Netflix that it's over between us. I'm not leaving in a huff. I'm not slamming the door on the way out. I'm apathetic, which is part of why I'm canceling in the first place. I don't care enough to sort all these changes out. And there are thousand and thousands more people just like me.

I guess the lesson is leave the paying customers alone to keep shelling out your paycheck. Make it hard for them to do that, and expect that paycheck to shrink substantially.

*circa 1999 slang

Re: Diablo Cody

Apparently if you ever decide to take your clothes off for money, then go on to achieve anything notable, you will always and forever - - and usually right off the bat - - be described as a stripper.

Also, good for Cody. Always nice to see a blogger get an Oscar. [Always? Perhaps that was a first. Anyway...] But could we all please shut the fuck up about her now? She is clogging up my tubes.

An Open Letter to Mr. Spielberg

Dear Mr. Spielberg,

I was going to go see War of the Worlds, but now I am not. I was willing to forgive the turd pile that was A.I. because the trailer for your new movie was intriguing.

Then Tom Cruise went motherfucking batshit all over my television, dragging that skinny, empty-eyed Katie Holmes behind him talking about the evils of psychiatry. I am completely fed up with looking at his creepy center tooth and his evil, shifty eyes.

I know you might not miss my $8.50, but in case you do I thought you should know why.

Your boy is a serious wack-job.

A.I really was abysmal, man,

Better, Even, than Unicorns Getting It On

I was grumpy all day today. Not gumpy so much as annoyed. Pissy. Definitely pissy.

Then I came home and watched the trailer for this movie called March of the Penguins and now I can't stop smiling. Even if you are currently eating ice cream, getting head and money is falling from the sky, stop what you are doing. (You know you are lactose intolerant.) You must watch this movie trailer. It can always be better.

(Thanks to bikeboy.)

Just Because Part Deux

This is not a cop-out for posting actual writing. But still, after listing the DVDs that I own I couldn't stop there.

That's right. You guessed it. I'm going to type the title of every movie I own on VHS. Because I am a total, freakish nerd.

Favorites are maked with an asterisk and again, the boyfriend's movies are tagged [bf].

  • Rope
  • Office Space
  • Pollock
  • Gods and Monsters
  • L.A. Story
  • Tori Amos: The Complete Videos 1991-1998
  • Cinderella
  • Heavy*
  • Princess Mononoke
  • [bf]Dead Man Walking
  • [bf]Shag: The Movie
  • [bf]American Beauty
  • Citizen Ruth
  • Tori Amos: Little Earthquakes
  • Election
  • Shallow Grave*
  • [bf]me myself and i
  • clerks.
  • Swimming with Sharks
  • [bf]Red Hot Chili Peppers: Funky Monks
  • The Blair Witch Project
  • [bf]Reality Bites
  • Cyclo
  • Jerry Maguire
  • [bf]Red Dawn
  • The Wizard of Oz*
  • Girls Just Want to Have Fun

  • West Side Story
  • [bf]Dirty Dancing
  • Ginger Snaps
  • The Straight Story
  • Time Code
  • [bf]Real Genius
  • Forget Paris
  • The Graduate
  • The Incredible Adventures of Wallace and Gromit
  • In & Out
  • Fargo
  • [bf]Three Amigos
  • This is Spinal Tap
  • Resevoir Dogs
  • Swingers
  • [both]The Piano
  • The Insider
  • Wonder Boys*
  • Lost Highway*
  • Grease
  • Fast Times at Ridgemont High
  • [bf]Return of the Jedi
  • So I Married an Axe Murderer
  • [bf]The Best of the Tom Green Show
  • Life is Beautiful
  • [bf]The Ice Storm
  • And Affair to Remember
  • High Fidelity
  • [bf]Laurel Canyon
  • Road Trip
  • [bf]Say Anything
  • Polyester
  • Sidewalks of New York
  • The Game
  • Manhattan Murder Mystery
  • New York Stories
  • Lbs.
  • Little Otik
  • The Day I Will Never Forget
  • Se7en
  • [bf]Jacob's Ladder
  • Tribute
  • [bf]A Clockwork Orange
  • Robbing Peter
  • Hell House
  • Werckmeister Harmonies
  • The Movie Hero
  • [bf]Quills
  • [bf]The Fisher King
  • [bf]Singles