One day last week I was totally slammed during my lunch shift. I had six tables, one of which was sitting dirty for several (or ten) minutes while I caught up on everything else. I finally get a chance to clear the large table when an onslaught of older, well-dressed women approached me. The ugliest one, in red, pulled out a chair and moved to sit down.
"We are going to go ahead and have a seat, is that okay, we've been sitting down there in the lobby a long time," she asked in her sweetest Southern drawl. I immediately replied I'd need a chance to clean it off first before they sat down, at which time they turned and headed back to the foyer. I mouthed a big "WHAT THE FUCK?!" to the hostess Pam, whose last name is that of a famous, red swimsuit wearing actress.
Once they were properly seated I tried to forget all about the incident and make a fresh start with my table. I was going to anticipate their every whim and need to avoid having to hear their condecending voices.
Little did I know I would be totally unable to get away from their prattling, precious accents. These 60-something Southern belles were having lunch to talk important and pertinent issues. Politics.
Turns out they were in no real hurry to go anywhere or order anything or listen to me at all. Which makes me curious as to why they were in such a hurry initially to sit down at my still-dirty table. Anyway, the bits of conversation that I overheard were so incredibly sad but awesome that it totally made up for their high maintenance neediness.
I knew it was going to be good when refilling ice waters (half with ice, half of them without) I overheard the smallest woman say, "Why is Nancy for John Kerry? Can you tell me that?"
"Because she is so mad at Bush, I think," said the woman who wore her sunglasses until the salad course arrived.
"Tell me why. Why? I hear everybody say it, but no one can tell me why they are mad at George Bush."
A bit later I heard the woman who was wearing sunglasses tell the other four Republican women at the table why she would be voting for John Kerry as well. The shocked small woman almost yelled, "WHY? Is it because he's for abortion?"
"It's because I don't want to vote for anybody who tells a woman that she has to have a baby. Because he's all but ruined our environment. I really care about that stuff! I do!," Sunglasses Lady said frankly, "And you don't even want to get me started on this stupid war."
"That's hogwash! President Bush gave one of the best speeches on Reagan I've ever seen," countered Small Woman, who folded her arms across her chest in disgust.
At meal's end I was sad to see the debate end, and gathered up all the credit card slips--seperate tickets, naturally. Then I noticed the tips. The die-hard Republican ladies left me $2 each. The more liberal lady left me $8.
Just sayin', is all.