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August 11, 2004

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Once my Girlfriend enlisted me to help out with coloring her hair. Traumatic. That thing stinks.

I'd met this guy, right? And two weeks later he invited me to his friends wedding as his date. Then it turns out he's the best man & his parents and friends are all going to be there as well. Pressure.
I went and bought a really hott strapless top and decided to get a fake tan applied for me - my local beautician had told me about a spray tan system they had that was apparently going to be great.
It wasn't great. What had looked just well-tanned on her made me look streaky and orange, especially on my hands and feet. This was December, which is early early summer here in the Southern Hemisphere. I had to scrub my hands and feet with a creme cleanser (the bathtub cleanser kind) to even look just darkly tanned, and tried to not be in too much direct sunlight. No one noticed, but it led to massive self-consciousness on the day.
And the boy? Well, we did get together and now live togther but i would NEVER EVER EVER go for a liquid fake tan again.

Awww, Brittney, what's wrong with being white? Protect your pallor! WHITE POWER!!!

Oh, wait.... crap....

yeah, honestly. anyone is going to give a fuck about a tan.

really.

maybe chicks, but they don't count.

seriously.

still, i suppose being ghostly isn't exactly something you'd put on your CV.

Translucent skin is better than a fake tan.

White people love being tan, they stupid.

I want a pic by pic of the process. You could have your own how-to manual on the web. Orrrrr you could wind up on FARK as Girl Attempts Self Tanning - Hilarity Ensues.

>>Translucent skin is better than a fake tan.

That works for Johnny Winter. It's funny when you see pictures of him with his albino skin with some of the old black guys he's recorded with. He realized about 20 years ago that his skin was the perfect canvas, and has gradually turned himself into the Illustrated Man. Check out these pics.

Oh Brit...I know you said not to try and dissuede you from taking the plunge, so I'll just say good luck and I really hope it works out. (I'm sure you can pick up on the intonations in my writing voice) Why not go to one of those tanning places where they spray your ass evenly and neatly? I hear they're expensive but hey, in a way, so is orange skin. I'm a lightskinned beaner so I feel you. I want to be brown like my brethren, but if I tan, I'll end up more like Tecumseh than Zapata. White is right, but Brown is down!

Just embrace your honkey self and stop trying to "improve" upon nature. Mother Nature did you very well. Why tamper?

Why don't you fake n' bake? Go to a tanning salon, in one of those tanning beds. At least you don't risk turning orange.

YMMV as I have (the palest shade possible) olive skin, but might I recommend Lancome's Self Tanning Spray? I've had no time to get to the beach this summer due to the new flat so when wearing my summer whites made me look like Casper's sister, I bit the bullet and nervously splashed out on the semi-pricey spray.

Having never done the self-tanning thing before, I was pleasantly surprised. It didn't streak or make me turn orange, excepting my palms 'cause someone else was hogging the bathroom but those wore off sometime the next day. I chose the spray as I figured it would better my chances of an even application. The only con is that you can't use it on your face.

Good luck.

Pale is more attractive than fake tan. Guaranteed.

It is mind bending that someone as (presumably, from her writing) intelligent as Brit thinks that coating her body with dark orange tint is somehow superior to her natural tone.

Incredible.

What stupid bitch where you work talked you into this? I know it was a stupid bitch somewhere, because a guy wouldn't suggest this.

Fake tans are something girls do for other girls.

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