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April 16, 2008


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When I used to commute daily to the far east bay, I remember on fridays , like clockwork at rush hour, there'd be this creepy tall guy who'd beg for money on the trains inbound to SF. the old ladies were so scared of him they'd give him cash.

imagine my shock and surprise when i saw him lighting up what was either meth or crack on market street hours later as I was leaving the movie theater, having just a splendid time.

one day, however, he went too far. one of our "regulars" was one of those people you don't want mad at you and after he bugged the guy for money, he got up out of his seat and bellowed in one of those oh-my-God-all-Hell-is-gonna-break-loose voices "SIR, PLEASE DON'T PANHANDLE ON PUBLIC TRANSIT!"

We would have given him a round of applause if we weren't so frakking scared at that moment.

I think you've hit the nail on the head with that one never come to Melbourne trains suck satan's balls!

This goes double if you still go to something called “homeroom.

Sparkwood & 21: Get Off My Lawn


Hey, do not judge Anal Thunder at 8 a.m. until you've tried it.

Loved the efficiency of BART when visiting, but hated the coldness. No one smiles, everyone plugged in. I like southern hospitality.

If I ever move to the BA, it's wheat thins, 24/7, baybee! Seeds, schmeeds. Don't need flowers growing out of my stomach.

Where's my itoldjaso? I asked if your honeymoon with mass transit was ending back when you slipped in a stranger's puddle of puke.

Oh, the stories I have from years of riding the MTA in Baltimore. Foremost in my memory is the oily residue of Jeri-Curl left on my shoulder after the night shift nurses in the next seat would fall asleep on me. And I ALWAYS took a Walkman. And batteries. And food.

As for panhandlers, I'd sometimes buy burgers for some of the 'regulars' I'd see on a regular basis but I never gave anyone money.

Baltimore might become the first major US city to use gondolas for public transit. They would criss-cross the harbor with about two dozen passengers per car.

Story and video: http://wjz.com/local/gondola.fells.point.2.675385.html

Would YOU ride one of those on your daily commute if possible or necessary?

Just got back to Nashville a few hours ago. Sorry I didn't have a chance to look you up/stalk you while I was there but I was busy with another hot babe who did things I knew you wouldn't do (and that's already more than you want to know about that). Funnily enough, on this trip I came to a similar conclusion: all those people walking and holding cell phones to their ears aren't really talking to anyone. They're just using the cell phone as a means to avoid the crazies. I tried it and I swear it works! Of course I had to "talk" occasionally to make it look real. So since I was walking down the street talking on an imaginary phone call, does that make me crazy too?

And I'm always amazed at the number of people who ask me for directions when I'm there. Even more amazing is how often I know what to tell them. Sitting at an outside cafe on Duboce, a woman drove up and asked how to get to Embarcadero. My friend, who's lived there all her life but never owned a car, couldn't have helped her. I, the tourist, knew to tell her to go straight to Market, take a left and go 'til it ends. Waiting for the N-Judah train, a middle eastern guy chose me out of the 50 or so people there to ask how to get to Daly City. "Daly City?" I said. "You need to go back upstairs and cross over to BART." "No, no, I need to go to City College." "Oh! You want the outbound K-train." I've also started giving restaurant recommendations to tourists. I may as well just come live there. All I need is some sucker who'll pay me double what I make in Nashville.

Huh. Try taking the train from Powell to Walnut Creek. That was the darkest time of my life, plagued by people who would talk on speakerphone cellphones. I was always thankful for the Caldecott portion, just like I was for the Transbay portion. The thought that they want to allow cellphone reception in there someday is terrifying.

Still, it's a lot better than the Muni at getting me where I need to go on time. I'll take the Barcelona Metro any day though, except exceptionally hot days when the Mediterranean Showers are in full force.

You should try the Mexico City transit someday. I hear it's about a dime and worth every single, stinkin', gringo cent.

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