I got off the 38-L at Battery and Market, like you do, and waited patiently for the little lighted man to tell me it was okay to walk. In the middle of the crosswalk was a BMW. The driver had tried to make the light, but failed, and was now stranded in the area designated for pedestrians. It happens.
But as those of us on two feet began streaming across the walkway, the BMW began backing up.
Driver people of Earth, if you find yourself embarrassingly stuck in a crosswalk, do not try to make it better by backing up. There are people walking back there, since, ya know, it's a cross walk.
Needless to say at this point, I was nearly backed over by a high-performance German automobile.
So, the high-performance German automobile got a nice fist punch to the side panel. It was a satisfying and life-saving punch.
Still reeling for being nearly run down, I stopped for a coffee at Peet's. I got said coffee, and began dressing it up at the condiment counter. Soy milk, Splenda and a little sprinkle of cinnamon. It was perfectly prepared when North Face to my right grew impatient and reached over me for a napkin, sending my coffee cartwheeling to the floor. It sprayed all over my dress.
He apologized profusely, while I dabbed pointlessly at my clothing with napkins. Staff members came out with clean towels and warm water. One perky barista looked at me with pitiful eyes and said, "I hate it when the coffee fights back."
That's when I knew that they employees thought I spilled the coffee, which pissed me off more than having the coffee spilled.
"It wasn't me!," I wanted to scream.
But there are babies buried in rubble and starving dogs and grandmothers losing their minds, and I was not a pile of broken bones on Market Street, so I just dusted off the shreds of paper napkin from my dress and went to work.