"I want the large tri-color salad, but with no salt. I already asked the girl up front and requested no salt."
"Okay. If the dressing has salt, you'd like no dressing."
"No, I want the dressing, just no salt."
"And what can I put on it? I don't want prawns. Give me chicken. Grilled chicken."
"We don't have grilled chicken, but we have organic roasted chicken. It is served cold, and it is thinly sliced. It's said to be very good."
"I don't want that. I don't want that, and I don't want prawns. What else?"
"You can add the roasted chicken or the prawns. That's really it."
"I get that! But I want a protein! What else do you have?"
"It's chicken or the prawns."
"Fine. Give me a sample of the chicken."
* * *
"I'll have the calamari salad. What is it like?"
"It's fried calamari on an arugula salad. It's lots of lettuce with some preserved lemon and red onion."
"I can't eat dark green vegetables. I can't eat salad."
"Okay. Maybe I can help you select something else."
"No. I want the calamari salad. Can I just substitute asparagus for the salad?"
"Not really. The dish *is* a salad."
"Okay. Fine. I'll pick around the lettuce."
"Are you sure you wouldn't like a different dish?"
"Just give me the salad."